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How to Use CBT to Change Your Life

Apr 26, 2019
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Mindfulness is a type of meditation that encourages us to step back from what’s going on in our minds and to learn to detach ourselves from it. We’re not trying to silence our thoughts but rather we’re trying to just change the way that we respond to them. Know that your negative emotions are not who you are – they are temporary and they will pass.

But you can take mindfulness even further than this when you combine it with CBT. CBT stands for ‘cognitive behavioural therapy’ and one of the biggest parts of this therapeutic approach is something called ‘cognitive restructuring’. Simply, cognitive restructuring means changing the way that you think in order to be healthier, more adapted and even more focussed and productive. This creates a two step process: we use CBT in order to identify our thoughts and become familiar with them and then we use cognitive restructuring in order to then change them. But how does one go about this?

There are actually a few methods.

1. Thought Challenging

The first step is something called thought challenging. The idea here is to look at the thoughts and beliefs you have and then to challenge those to find out if you should really believe them or not.

So for example, if you are afraid of public speaking, you might find that it’s because you believe you’re likely to stutter and that if you do stutter, people will laugh at you. So now your objective is to challenge those thoughts and identify if they’re valid concerns or not. How likely are those things to happen? Could you cope if they did?

In this particular case, what you would hopefully realize is that most people are kind enough that they won’t laugh at you if you stutter. Instead, they’ll be more likely to just listen politely until you finish! Likewise, you’ll realize that it doesn’t really matter what strangers think who you’re never going to have to see again most likely…

2. Hypothesis Testing

The next stage is ‘hypothesis testing’. This is similar to thought challenging except we’re stepping things up a notch. How? By actually testing the theory and seeing if it’s founded in reality. So instead of just challenging the thought, we’re actually going to see if it holds up.

So if you’re afraid of public speaking because you think that you might ‘choke’ and people will laugh at you, then what you need to do is to go up on the stage and perfectly not say anything. You’ll find this is incredibly awkward but what you’ll also find is that no one laughs and nothing bad comes of it. You’ve tested the hypothesis and found that it’s untrue. The worst case scenario really isn’t that bad!

There are other tools you can use in CBT too. These include the likes of reassociation and other strategies borrowed from behaviorism. Ultimately though, these two methods are the cornerstones of what makes this method work.

Never Stop Learning and Never Stop Growing as a Person

Making a commitment to personal development is definitely a worthwhile investment of your time and resources. Growing as a person doesn’t require a formal education or spending a lot of money on workshops by well-known experts. There are tons of ways to expand your mind and to become a more fulfilled person. The benefits of which are immense. Keep reading the information below if you want to know why you should never stop learning and never stop growing as a person.

Avoid Boredom

Boredom is one of the biggest contributors to the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Being bored is a symptom of a mind that is not fully engaged, and it can lead to complacency. The longer you remain unexcited about the life you’re living, the harder it can become to motivate yourself to look for ways to change. Instead, look for ways to stretch your comfort zone. Make a list of ways to do this. It can include new topics or skills you’d like to learn, types of people you’d be interested to meet, experiences that would delight you or something as simple as a different kind of food you want to try. Your list should include baby steps and large leaps. Start with the small stuff and work your way to bigger things or mix it up as the mood strikes.

Expand Your Life

By remaining stuck in a rut, you’re limiting yourself. You’re missing out on new experiences, satisfying relationships and career fulfillment. Taking time to learn something about a topic of interest or about yourself expands your life through knowledge and opportunity. Each item you place on the list of steps you take toward self-growth adds a little more to your world. Perhaps it’s a new skill that can open up exciting job prospects or maybe it’s an encounter with a person who may become a trusted friend. It could also be an idea or concept that was previously unknown to you, but which could transform your entire belief system. You never know what wonderful things are out there if you choose to remain where you are.

Increase Creativity

Your creativity can become stagnant, even if you’re a person who likes to create such as an artist, singer, crafter or writer. Sometimes we simply find our creative outlets take a back burner while we are focused on other aspects of life. That’s fine, but it can be incredibly difficult to find your way back to creativity again when it’s been absent for a while. Even if creating has never been at the top of your list, you can benefit from a adding a spark of imagination to your life. Setting aside specific time to read books or take classes on some form of artistry can inspire renewed interest in you. Simply deciding to add some new recipes to your usual menu choices can be enough to inspire a change in your outlook.

Make Priorities

As you begin to explore various topics of personal development, you may start to notice that your priorities shift. Something in your exploration is likely to strike a chord and excite you enough that you want to dedicate more of your time to learning about it. This means you will be forced to step out of your current routine in order to make time for your new interest. This simple action can be the catalyst for additional changes to come.

Gain Happiness

Through your exposure to novel ideas and information, you are bound to come across experiences, people and, hopefully, passions that may shift your worldview. You may begin to appreciate nonmaterial things more and begin to focus on the joy that comes from such riches. These are the things happiness is made of.

Continuous learning and growing can provide you with multitudes of benefits. These are just a handful. Hopefully, you now have the motivation to commit yourself to your own journey of self-discovery.

When You Give, You Succeed

Apr 12, 2019
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A very powerful act one can do in order to attract success and create an abundant life is to realize and acknowledge “the power of giving”, by way of giving unconditionally. It is a tremendously intense force magnetizing in you and your life; it will instantaneously take place at the mental, physical and spiritual platform of existence.

Universal laws

The universal laws that are in control over “giving and receiving” are spiritual as well as it is scientific.

Spiritual, that of whatever one will sow so those will he reap. Scientific, that of Isaac Newton’s motion theory which affirms that for each action there will always be an equal or opposite response or reaction. Meaning to say, when these laws will be implemented into one’s daily life, one attracts and creates the abundance or success which he/she desires.

Most individuals often associate giving, as about offering money. Although donating in terms of money comprises a great component, always know that the meaning of giving extends beyond money. When one thinks of giving in monetary terms, then one falls to the sentiment of scarcity, with the thought of what he has to give. The very act of sharing challenges directly one’s crooked beliefs and perceptions about inadequacy.

Giving is a power

Giving is a power which stems from a very selfless act, that of simply giving from the heart. Wherein the act is not at all connected to any special occasion, such as Christmas, a birthday or any holiday celebration, rather it is “anytime”, primarily for one reason that is wanting to share what it is that you have, showing your gratitude and showing how you actually care. There must be no other reason behind it. Keep in mind that you do not give because you expect nothing in return.

Giving from your heart signals positive reactions to the universe, ignites your inner powers and sends out positive energy that will be picked up by others; this message that you transmit results in positive reactions that you will also pick up in time.

The response will be very overwhelming, often, as if thousands of helping hands come to offer help and stay with you in times when you need help, even without asking. Things will definitely fall into the proper place, because those that willingly give will get back what they had given a thousand fold.

This simple act of sharing

This simple act of sharing unconditionally with full understanding and recognition that one has plenty and trust that he/she will continually have sufficient supply of all his needs produces a bond or connection between him and his higher power, universe, spirit, God or whoever one considers his higher supreme authority that is over him.

That connection is called trust in that higher power, which one declares that he, will always have plentiful, more than his needs and more to share with others, mainly because he trusts God.

One will earn the love and respect of the recipients of his act. One is always confident that there will always be someone who will protect and help him because of their gratitude, because humans will always have that need and impulse to give back any act of compassion that one has demonstrated.

Keep in mind though that, this does not imply that you should expect those that you have helped to do something for you in return. Just share and do not worry about the rewards. Give and share primarily because you feel a great source of happiness by doing it. The universe, that superior outside force will bring you back so many blessings at the right time, in its unique way, beyond your understanding.

The very act of sharing and giving will summon joy’s spirit to fill your heart. That feeling of overwhelming joy you experience when you have helped someone, when that someone thanked you, that itself is already true success. Likewise, giving is a very healthy habit. It can prolong life when one feels that sense of inner accomplishment and peace.

Let fear and selfishness not be your source for giving. Always give from the heart and be aware of the little miracles that will start to arrive instantaneously.

Human nature

Giving is truly a part of one’s human nature. That is the reason why when one does it one finds fulfillment and joy, as well as attracting so much blessings that can truly lead to success in all forms.

Success Begins In The Mind

Apr 11, 2019
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Success is characterized in various forms, also has many meanings depending on what one is seeking for in his life, relationship and career. To athletes, success can mean obtaining that gold medal, to parents’ success can mean raising children with good moral values, to doctors, success can mean saving a life and to some it can mean a job promotion or acquiring wealth. It actually depends on one’s perspective of the life that one has. Understanding and success perceptions are as abundant as there are stars in the sky.

One apparent thing about success is that every individual has to determine the true meaning of success in his own life. The one’s who walk through life making an attempt to accomplish “success” through someone else’s standards or through the standards of one’s society will continuously be lacking of that successful feeling.

The modern dictionary defines success as that certain measure or degree of achievement or accomplishment or as a desirable and favorable outcome.

One should make a decision on what one truly wants that can offer a desirable or favorable outcome that must be in each aspect of one’s life. To accomplish success, one has to set realistic goals for his life, meaning goals that can be achieved. One should measure success as to how close one comes to accomplishing one’s goals that one has set for himself based on one’s skills and abilities.

Subconscious mind

Know that one’s “subconscious mind” is a very incredible and powerful tool that one has yet to improve and utilize it wisely to its complete capacity, to accomplish success.

To fully understand how powerful and encouraging your “subconscious mind” can be, you should understand first and recognize that there really is no “coincidence”, that nothing in life occurs just by chance. Meaning, nothing is predestined, that you have the power to control your life, to control your success and your failure.

Events or incidents in life can be maneuvered or controlled to resolve one’s problems. You have the power to change certain aspects of your life that you are not contented with.

Whereas there is no disagreeing to the actuality that one can not at all times acquire what he wants, it is likewise true that one can utilize one’s natural power over events of one’s life and cause things to move on one’s desired direction more “frequently”.

Expectation, belief and desire

Expectation, belief and desire are three powerful forces that can help one do so. Before anything that one wishes for to occur can happen, one must desire for it to happen, should believe deeply that it will happen and one should expect that it will happen.

The “subconscious mind” generates all things in one’s life that is on the information and messages one sends to it. One is continuously and regularly sending the mind information and messages and most information sent are useless or that they are negative information functioning against you. This is why things never recuperate regardless of your efforts to make it succeed.

It will be truly difficult to follow any success level if you are not specific and clear regarding what you believe is attainable for yourself. It is then extremely significant assess and gauge your actions, thoughts and motives as you partake your daily life. You should gain understanding and knowledge of where you are and what are you doing wrong as well as what you are doing right. Subsequently you should be ready to change for the better when and as it is needed.

Beliefs, thoughts and actions

Always remember that whatever you display in your beliefs, thoughts and actions are sent to the “subconscious mind”.

So be very careful of your thoughts, beliefs and actions, as they are great influences to your success. Note that if you worry constantly about not acquiring enough finances, then you will really not acquire enough; thinking that you do not have the capability to accomplish your goals, then you will never achieve any; thinking that there not enough open opportunities, then there will never be.

Why? Simply because the “subconscious mind” is constantly working on those information that you have sent and a “negative information” results to nothing but “negative reality”.

When you do accomplish your goal, stop a while and relish that certain satisfaction and pleasure of achieving a goal. Great or small, it is success; a beginning of that life that you want for yourself!

How To Use Fun to Self Motivate In Any Situation

Apr 9, 2019
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It’s no mystery to us that when we experience fun, we feel uplifted and motivated to do things. No matter how you define fun, it’s a totally effective way of firing up your mood to give it your all every single day. Try to think about your work. When you don’t enjoy what you do, you will never experience that ever burning passion that would make you wake up each morning to get ready to go to the office. It’s basically just finding the little things that make puts a smile on your face each time. No matter how small it may be like the tie you wear to work, it’s helpful on your part to be happy with whatever it is that you do. Try out these helpful tips that would help you ease the stress and enlighten your mood:

Wear That Beautiful Smile!

It may seem overrated but smiling can make the difference between a whole day of being happy or feeling really heavy deep inside. Try to smile and you’ll notice a lot of difference. Smiling too is like disease (minus all the pain and agony though) as it is contagious to almost everyone around you and almost nobody is immune to it. Try it out! Maybe next time you’ll earn yourself a new friend. Have fun, be happy and don’t forget that smile!

Make Every Day A Challenging Game

Challenge yourself to the things that you do. Be that person who always seems to be optimistic no matter how huge the odds may be. Add a little spice to your day by achieving more than what you did yesterday. A little healthy challenge goes a long way and it can also improve your daily working pattern. Pushing yourself just a little bit each time makes you a better player than the others. Try to do it more often at the office and you might have your boss notice your good work and give you a raise!

Don’t Treat Work as Work

Some people said, “If you enjoy what you do, you never have to work a single day in your life” and this can also happen to you. Although this may not apply to everyone who’s got some very demanding work but for the rest, this can be easily applied. Work, profession, and career can all be made fun. Indulge yourself with the things that pleases you and make you happy. Motivation normally comes when you are happy with the things you have, the people around you, your job, and the little things that make life worth living. Take the time to appreciate these things and enjoy!

An Introduction to NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is the exploration of how we communicate, think and change with the aim of replicating and improving great performance in any context. It uses both conscious and unconscious processes that leads to increased communication skills, confidence, motivation and success and is directly related to increasing our ability to influence and persuade. It is also effective in overcoming blocks or barriers caused by a lack of these skills.

Practical applications of NLP include:

  • Improve personal and social skills – help develop and improve on existing skills
  • Business skills like improved leadership, coaching, sales, influence and managing change
  • Help with personal challenges like smoking, drinking, weight-loss and phobias (e.g fear of heights)
  • Seduction and relationships – improve interaction with others
  • Health – help individuals change limiting beliefs, habits and behaviour
  • Sport – Used to help people reach and maintain peak performance.

The 6 main building blocks of NLP:

euro-linguist programming describes some of the way NLP works and the things it relates to: 
N (neurology) – L (linguistic) – P (programming) –

Neuro:

NLP studies and works with the mind, how we think and how we store our past experiences, putting them to good use if the need arises.

Linguistic:

The use of language, verbal and non-verbal affects us and NLP constructs its models on that, using language and language patterns towards the desired goals

Programming:

The ability to organize our actions, thoughts and access to our past experiences can be programmed, sequenced in the best way to aid in achieving our specific desired goals

Attitude:

It works on the best physical and emotional state to accomplish a task and produce best results in different contexts.

Modelling:

This involves modelling successful people actions to achieve similar results. It starts by asking good questions and moves on to learning without letting our intellect interfere with our learning!

Techniques:

A positive attitude and a passion for modelling will result in many new techniques.. People practicing NLP have produced many useful techniques to help others to reach their objectives and overcome ‘blocks’ where appropriate.

Amazing ‘Mental States’ and How They Can Enhance Performance

You might think of your brain as being fairly consistent. You generally have a consistent level of intelligence, your mood is usually pretty steady and on the whole you don’t tend to change all that much. Or so it seems.


In reality though, your brain is constantly changing. Not only is it growing and adapting, but it will also change in terms of what it’s capable of and how you feel. The chemical balance is likely to change a huge amount.
In other words, our brain goes through a number of states and depending on which brain state you are experiencing at any given time, you can expect very different results.


Let’s take a look at just a few mental states and how they have incredible impacts on the way you feel and perform.


Flow State


A flow state is a much-coveted state that is often described as being the state of ultimate ‘peek’ human performance.
It’s a little more complex than that. But essentially, this is a state in which you are completely focussed on a given task, normally because you perceive it as highly important. This actually suppresses activity in the frontal region of the brain, allowing you to act on near pure-instinct and thereby giving you intense mental clarity and reactions.


Fight or Flight


Fight or flight is a stress state. In this state, the body is releasing adrenaline, dopamine and other chemicals that ramp up the nervous system and increase strength while also suppressing immune function and digestion. Stress like this isn’t a bad thing in the short term. Acute stress allows us to react to situations quickly when we need to.
The problem comes when this state carries on and becomes chronic.


Rest and Digest


The opposite of fight or flight, this is when the body is able to relax and calm down. This is when we digest our food, when we sleep and when we build tissue. We’re also more creative in this state!


Hysterical Strength


Hysterical strength is a little like ‘beserker mode’. Under extreme duress, we produce so much adrenaline that we’re able to call on incredible reserves of strength. This demonstrates just how much of an impact our mind can have on our body – just what is possible when you’re in the right mindset.


And there are many more. If you want to perform your best, best get into the right mindset!

Four Things That Can Make Your Life More Meaningful

When we spend our lives merely surviving, life can start to seem a little empty and pointless. Nevertheless, this is exactly how many of us live: we work for eight hours or more a day and then we come home feeling too tired and exhausted to do much of anything with our time. So, we sit and watch TV.
The same thing repeats and repeats and the most excitement we have is a holiday once a year to look forward to. Is that really living?
Here are four simple changes that can make your life more meaningful:


Learning


Constantly learning is a great way to give life more meaning and direction. Ultimately, one of the things that the brain craves most is growth. If it isn’t challenged to learn and grow, then it will shrink and we will become set in our ways.
Make it your job to constantly be learning new skills and pursuits. That can be related to your career, a hobby, or even a new language!


Relationships


Likewise, relationships are one of the things that we really need to be happy. If you don’t have meaningful relationships, then you’ll have no one to share your experiences, your challenges and your triumphs with.
A truly ‘meaningful’ relationship goes beyond friends of friends that you only ever meet in a group. This is someone that you can have a deep heart-to-heart with and who has a long and storied history with you.


Challenge


What’s also necessary for life to feel meaningful is challenge and to some extent, risk.
Have you ever been in a situation that was truly life and death? Or perhaps that put you in a situation where you were close to accomplishing something truly amazing?
These are the moments that the brain focuses and engages with the world. These are the moments when we learn and when we realize the worth of what we have. It puts things in perspective and creates stories. Don’t shy away from the things that test you!


Travel


Finally, everyone should seek to have some travel in their lives. This doesn’t mean you have to backpack across the dessert – but simply being able to experience new sights and new people is important to keep your mind open and your experiences varied. If you don’t have the budget to go away, then come up with an adventure you can enjoy a little closer to home.

Why You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of you?
You might be tempted to say something along the lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people?
I have a hunch, which is that a big part of what’s holding you back is your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’ and by your eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable.


Why Consistency is Over-Rated


We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example: you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.


We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.


We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.


But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated?


Adaptability is Key


If the dinosaurs taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.


With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow?


Have you ever told someone the way you felt and then changed your mind… only to then feel that you can’t go back on what you said?
Have you ever wanted to dress differently, or take a sudden serious tone, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?
This is a prison. And the irony is that it is a lie: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that you naturally want to be. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and your feelings.


And remember: biologically, there is no continuity. The person you are now is biologically completely different from the person you were even 10 years ago. Accept it and move on.

Ways to Find Your Purpose

Finding your purpose, your life’s purpose and your passion changes everything.


It offers you a reason to spring out of bed ever morning, it gives you a mission statement – it even helps you to decide who you are. It helps to inform your personal style, the way you present yourself.


You’re no longer emulating other people, or doing what you think you should do. Instead, you’re now embracing your true self and your passion and you’re living life to its fullest as a result.


The problem? Many people will struggle to find their purpose in this way.
So here are some tips that will help you to discover what your true purpose is and to embrace it fully.


When Were You Last Really Happy?


One easy question is to ask when you were last super happy? Or more than that: when were you last inspired, engaged and rewarded? This is a rare feeling so if there’s some activity or experience that makes you seem to come alive… do more of that!


Look to Your Role Models


Who are your role models? We all look up to someone in our lives and maybe we look up to multiple people. The question is what it is about those people – maybe what they have in common – that we find so inspiring and encouraging.


If you can identify some common trait that your heroes all share, then you can find a core activity or belief that you respond well to. And when you do that, you can embrace that side of yourself.


What Are You Really Great At?


We shouldn’t just ask what it is we want but also what we can do for the world. Sometimes you will find that life takes you in a certain direction as a result of your natural gifts and traits. Maybe you’re a born salesperson, or maybe you’re a fantastic artist.


You shouldn’t do anything that you aren’t going to enjoy but do listen to your talents and use them where you can.


How Do Others See You?


You might not know what your true calling is, but sometimes it will be obvious to other people. Ask your friends and family what they think you should do, how they see you what your skills are. Sometimes they can be surprisingly insightful and give enlightening answers.


There are many more methods but hopefully these will set you off on the right path.